The Adoption journey to self discovery is like an elastic band that snaps you back to the very beginning,
Tracing Natural Family
For many adoptees, the journey to find origin family can be both hopeful and challenging. Whether you’re just starting your search or deep into the process, understanding your rights, available resources, and emotional realities is essential.
How to Start
Beginning a search for your original family is deeply personal. Some adoptees start looking as soon as they can; others wait years, even decades. Some never felt they had a choice. Others only began because something shifted — a document appeared, a relative reached out, or a feeling became too strong to ignore.
Whatever brought you here, you are not alone.
Many adoptees want to understand where they came from — not necessarily to reunite, but simply to know. Searching can stir up grief, longing, hope, anger, or confusion. You might feel all of those at once. That’s okay. There’s no right way to do this.
The best place to begin is by reclaiming what’s already yours: your records, your history, your truth.
Before moving on to DNA testing or searching online, it’s important to start with what is legally yours: your adoption and birth records.
This isn’t just a bureaucratic step — it’s the foundation of your personal history. Whether you were adopted in Scotland, England, Wales, or Northern Ireland, certain records must exist. You may already be entitled to them under law.
These records can confirm:
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Your birth name
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Your mother’s (and sometimes father’s) name
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Where and when you were born
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Who was involved in your adoption
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Why the adoption happened
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Where you may have lived or been in care beforehand
They may also contain social work notes, health information, or letters that can’t be found through DNA alone.
✅ Quick Checklist: Have You...
⬜ Requested your original birth certificate?
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In Scotland, available from age 16
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In England & Wales, from age 18 (via General Register Office)
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In Northern Ireland, through GRONI
⬜ Traced which agency or authority handled your adoption?
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Local authority where adoption took place
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Voluntary agency or religious group
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Scottish agencies: use our support to track it down
⬜ Requested your full adoption file?
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Includes social work notes, legal info, and sometimes personal letters
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Use your data rights to ask for it (SAR or direct request)
⬜ Asked about medical or care records?
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NHS archive or past GP records (birth/maternity hospital)
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Pre-adoption foster care or children’s home files
If you’re unsure how to do any of this — or don’t know where to begin — we’ve created a full guide just for this stage.
👉 Visit our Requesting Records page for clear steps, examples of how to write, and what to do if you’re turned away.
Support Is Scarce — But You’re Not Alone
In the UK, there is still a striking lack of dedicated, long-term support for adult adoptees. Most services focus on children or adoptive parents — and many adoptees are left to navigate the emotional, legal, and identity complexities of adoption entirely alone.
We know this isn’t good enough.
That’s why this page isn’t just about tracing names — it’s also about finding connection, grounding yourself, and joining a wider network of people who understand. Searching for your origins isn’t just about biology; it can also be about finding your place in the world and in the adoptee community.
We’ve included not only tools to help you search for family, but also spaces where you can connect with other adoptees, learn from global adoption communities, and start to feel seen in the wider adoption constellation.
Whether you're just beginning or deep into your journey, we hope some of these resources help light the way.
Intermediary Services: Help Reaching Out
At some point in the search, adoptees or birth family members may decide to reach out — but doing that directly can feel overwhelming. That’s where intermediary services come in.
An intermediary is a third-party who can make contact on your behalf, usually with sensitivity and care. They can help navigate first steps, offer support around responses (or silence), and take some of the emotional pressure off you.
These services can be a lifeline for some — especially when stakes feel high or histories are complex. But they’re not right for everyone. You should never feel rushed or pressured into using an intermediary. What matters most is that you feel safe and supported, and that the person representing you understands what’s at stake.
Some intermediaries work through local authorities or registered agencies, while others are independent professionals. Ask questions, trust your instincts, and choose someone you feel comfortable with.
You deserve to be treated with dignity — whether you choose to use an intermediary or not.
📝 Things to Consider When Choosing an Intermediary
Before deciding to use an intermediary, it might help to reflect on the following:
✅ Do I feel emotionally ready for possible contact — or silence?
Intermediaries can help ease the process, but emotional outcomes are still unpredictable. Take your time.
✅ Am I choosing this for myself, or because others think I “should”?
The search is yours. No one else gets to decide if or when you reach out.
✅ Does the intermediary understand adoption from an adult adoptee perspective?
Lived experience, training, and trauma-informed practice matter. You can ask about their approach.
✅ Am I clear on what I want from the process?
Some people seek medical history, some just want confirmation of facts, others hope for connection. All are valid.
✅ Is the intermediary affiliated with a local authority, charity, or independent?
Each has different structures and approaches — there is no “one right way,” only what feels right for you.
✅ Can I afford any costs involved?
Some services may charge fees. Be sure you understand any financial commitments upfront.
✅ Do I know my rights?
In the UK, adoptees have legal rights to request access to their records. Intermediaries are optional — not a requirement.
🔗 Need to start with your records first?
We recommend visiting our Accessing Records page to understand what information is already available to you before making contact.
🌍 Global & Intercountry Support
For intercountry adoptees, searching for origins can be even more complex. Many face additional barriers such as lack of documentation, language differences, sealed or missing records, and geopolitical histories that shape — and sometimes erase — identity.
In some cases, records may never have existed. In others, systems were deliberately closed, or adoptions were handled through informal or coercive means. That doesn’t make the search less valid — it makes it even more important that support is ethical, adoptee-led, and trauma-informed.
We stand in solidarity with intercountry adoptees searching across borders, and are honoured to connect with friends and movements around the world doing vital work in this space. While we are a UK-based resource, we aim to share international supports where possible.
Here are some key global and intercountry-focused supports and collectives:
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🧭 InterCountry Adoptee Voices (ICAV) – https://intercountryadopteevoices.com
A global platform amplifying the lived experiences of intercountry adoptees, offering stories, advocacy, and resources. -
🔍 Against Child Trafficking (ACT Europe) – https://www.againstchildtrafficking.org
Focuses on the darker history and current risks of adoption trafficking, and supports adoptees questioning the legality or ethics of their placement. -
🤝 Adoptee Rights Campaign (USA) – https://adopteerightscampaign.org
Advocating especially for adoptees in the United States without citizenship due to gaps in intercountry adoption law. -
🧬 DNA Connect & Global Search Groups
Many intercountry adoptees turn to DNA testing as a last hope to trace ancestry. There are emerging search communities globally, including Asia-based DNA matching initiatives, Latin American search volunteers, and African diaspora support collectives.
We are continuing to grow this list and build stronger bridges between adult adoptee communities across the world. If you’re part of a global adoptee-led organisation or collective and would like to be included, please get in touch.
🧬 DNA Testing for Adoptees
Using DNA tests to search for family is becoming more accessible and powerful — but it can also be overwhelming. We’ve gathered some key tips and things to think about before you decide if, how, and where to test.
DNA testing can be an empowering part of your search journey, especially if traditional records are incomplete, denied, or missing. But it’s important to spend wisely, understand the limitations, and be aware of legal or cultural barriers in some countries.
https://www.23andme.com/en-gb/
🌍 Which Test? Which Country?
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AncestryDNA (ancestry.co.uk)
Has the largest database globally — especially helpful for those with UK and European ancestry. A good first choice for many UK-based adoptees. -
23andMe (23andme.com)
More US-based but widely used. Useful for broader genetic matching and ethnicity breakdowns. Some adoptees prefer it for health data too. -
MyHeritage, FamilyTreeDNA, and LivingDNA
These are smaller, but sometimes offer useful regional matches or additional tools. LivingDNA is UK-based. MyHeritage can be helpful in some European searches.
💡 Tips for Adoptees Using DNA:
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Start with AncestryDNA if budget allows — it has the highest number of users.
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Don’t test everywhere at once. Some companies let you upload your DNA data to other sites for free or a lower cost once you've tested (e.g., uploading Ancestry data to MyHeritage).
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Check for sales — many companies reduce prices around holidays or Black Friday.
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If you’re unsure about results or matches, you can ask help from adoptee DNA groups or search angels.
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DNA does not always give instant answers — sometimes it opens new questions. Be prepared to go slowly and take breaks if needed.
⚠️ Legal Restrictions & Country Warnings
Some countries do not permit DNA testing for family matching, or only allow it under strict medical conditions. For example:
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France prohibits personal DNA testing altogether. It is illegal to use a home DNA test kit there.
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Other countries (like China, South Korea, and some Latin American nations) may have political or practical restrictions on testing or database access.
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Some adoptees from intercountry placements may struggle to get meaningful matches due to lack of regional participation in databases.
Always check whether testing is legal in the country where you or your biological family were born or live now — and consider the ethical implications, especially in vulnerable or trafficking-linked adoptions.
🔍 Searching on Social Media — What to Know
Adoption often involves layers of anonymity and privacy — for adoptees and birth families alike. Social media can be a helpful tool in your search, but it’s important to proceed with care, respect, and safety.
👤 Anonymity & Privacy Are Real
Even in “open” adoptions, not everyone is ready or willing to be found. Many adoptees find that birth family members may not expect or want contact, or may not know they’re being searched for. This can bring up strong emotions for everyone.
📱 Setting Up Social Media Accounts for Searching
Some adoptees create social media profiles using their birth name or a variation, to connect with biological relatives or explore their identity. Others prefer to keep their adoptee identity private or use a nickname.
Whatever you choose, consider:
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🛡️ Your safety: If you are under 16 (Scotland) or under 18 (England & Wales), ask a trusted adult to help you.
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🔒 Privacy settings: Manage who can see your photos, posts, and friend list.
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🤝 Respect for others: Remember birth families may not expect or want contact, and privacy matters for them too.
📅 Age & Legal Considerations
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🏴 In Scotland, you must be 16+ to access your original birth record.
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🏴 In England and Wales, the age is 18+.
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🧒 If you are younger, waiting until you are legally able to access records and support is safest.
If you’re younger but curious, reach out to a trusted adult or support group who understands adoption and can guide you safely.
💡 Support & Next Steps
Before making contact or sharing online, consider:
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📄 Requesting your birth and adoption records — learn more here.
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💬 Joining adoptee support groups for understanding and guidance.
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🤝 Using an intermediary service if you want someone else to make first contact.
Social media can be a powerful part of your search, but it’s only one step. We’re here to support you every step of the way.
🌍 Adoptee Voices: You Are Not Alone
Across the world, adoptees are rising — telling their stories, creating art, reclaiming identity, and building community. Whether you’re just beginning to search or already deep in your journey, know this: you are not the only one.
Adoptees are writers, artists, activists, singers, and truth-tellers. In every corner of the internet — and in every walk of life — adoptees are speaking out. This section shares just a glimpse of the powerful work being created by and for adoptees, and invites you to listen, watch, and connect.
📚🎧 Tracing and Reunion: Books, Podcasts, Docs & Adoptee Voices
Searching is not just about finding people — it’s about finding yourself. Many adoptees have shared their stories through writing, art, music, and film. You are not alone, and your voice matters too.
📖 Adoptees Are Storytellers
Adoptees are authors, poets, podcasters, filmmakers, artists, and singers. From every walk of life, adoptees are speaking up — about identity, loss, resilience, and the truth of adoption. You may find someone who says exactly what you’ve felt, even if you’ve never had the words.
📲 Hashtags & Online Adoptee Communities
Search and follow these hashtags to connect with adoptees around the world:
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#AdopteeVoices
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#AdopteeRights
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#AdoptionIsTrauma
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#AdopteesOfTikTok
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#AdopteeJourney
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#AdoptionJourney
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#TransracialAdoption
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#AdoptionAwareness
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#AdopteeHealing
These hashtags are used across TikTok, Instagram, YouTube, and Twitter/X. You’ll find everything from raw truths to beautiful art and collective action.
Helping Make Sense
Of The Journey
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